Like watching someone get a football in the face, some things are both painful yet at the same time hugely enjoyable to watch. You would think that we here at Fluid are sticklers for all things aesthetically pleasing – which we are – yet there are some visual monstrosities so appalling that our opinion of them comes full circle and they suddenly become fantastic. Here’s a few that have caught our eye:
If you’re looking to hire a really dynamic speaker then you may want to call on the services of Peter Sage:
This site has been my favourite for the past few months and I can’t decide on where to start in order to fully convey how wonderful it is. The landing page asks whether you want to go to Peter’s new flash site (for which broadband is wisely recommended – each page takes about 20 seconds to load) or his html site (for which dial-up is for some reason recommended). I implore you to begin with the flash site as each page contains a different blocky pixel flash video of the man Sage giving you a guided tour of the services described in a tone that seems to combine Alan Partridge and David Brent into one gloriously cheesy character.
There’s so much to explore and find on this site that through the tears of laughter you may forget that there’s still the html site to explore (don’t forget to unplug your cable modem and hook up your dial up modem first!). On this site you will be able to find such treats as Peter’s words of wisdom (‘Sageisms’) and even some songs that he has penned himself. There are also of course any number of photos of him grinning inanely as all dynamic entrepreneurs do.
And that’s not all – if you can bear to navigate away from the site you helpfully get returned to Google…but wait – oh Peter, you are a scamp:
2) Norcalis.com
If Geocities was still around and one of their websites got smacked round the head with a baseball bat made of flash, it would surely result in the triumph that is Norcal Internet Services.
According to the strapline not only will they make your website, but they will also make your website better! Talk about an offer that’s too good to refuse. The website looks wonderfully serene, what with that waterfall and everything but don’t get too relaxed. Your eyes are about to take a shelling:
In a similar fashion to big Pete’s site, a blocky video Francis Rossi stumbles onto the screen and proceeds to take you through all the visually engaging and user friendly services that he can craft for your business - whilst some ducks float past. Surely the results speak for themselves and there’s no reason for any other element of persuasion so virtua-Rossi is pointless. Unless he goes on to elaborate on how Status Quo’s career was so successful despite only knowing 3 chords.
3) Ling’s Cars
If you aren’t already familiar with Ling’s cars then you are in for a treat. This shot doesn’t do her site justice at all, but it will show you a small slice of the madness:
The site itself is a long list of ever increasingly insane images and content – it’s the sort of site they show terrorism suspects in order to drag a confession out of them. Bizarrely, the business seems to be very successful and the whirlwind behind it, Ling has even managed to put an appearance on Dragon’s Den. Any business that is awesome enough to advertise on the back of a rocket clearly deserves attention. It would appear that we aren’t the first website to appreciate the eccentric nature of Ling’s cars and Ling herself appears to go out of her way to track down her dissenters and comment on their site. We’re half hoping that she makes an appearance in the comments at the bottom of this post!
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